"With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username" (with-a-g)
08/10/2016 at 14:19 • Filed to: None
3
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"With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username" (with-a-g)
08/10/2016 at 14:19 • Filed to: None | 3
| 0 |
Wow, just ran through my posting history. If the Kinja platform lives until August 23, it will mark my 6-year commenting anniversary. My Oppo posting privileges began in December 2013, followed by a steady 6 months of posting about my then-pending back surgery and what it’s like to play Gran Turismo on Oxycontin and Diazepam. In the two years since my back got fixed, posting has dwindled, but I still read stuff here a few times a day.
And, just to show how little I’ve changed in my tastes, here’s my comment in reply to a September, 2010 Jalopnik QOTD asking, “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ” I don’t think I’d change a word of it today.
Wow, good question. Let me think for a second....
1971 Plymouth GTX 440+6. Why 1971? This was a styling zenith, and came right before the performance precipice that was to follow. Besides, it had me at that chrome loop bumper, lovingly bent into the trademark Plymouth slightly frowny double-ended hairpin shape....
I can’t decide between the 727 Torqueflite auto or the 4-speed with Hurst pistol-grip. (Let’s see... submit to the ‘flite’s legendary shifting prowess as a bulletproof strip terror, or claim the satisfaction of showing the Dana 60 rear exactly *which* number to divide by 4.10, and when?)
No, not the Hemi. I said the six-barrel 440. The Hemi option required the butt-ugly “air grabber” hood bulge instead of the properly exquisite squared-off longitudinal crease vents. Besides, there’s something organically sinister about the shape of those triple two-barrel Holleys when uncovered, and sometimes—sorry 2G Hemi fetishists—you aren’t actually at WOT.
Yes, I said Plymouth. No, not the same-gen Dodge Charger. Compare wheelhouse arches. See those plain round jobs? Dodge. Now let John Herlitz and the proportion gods whisk you away to Olympus-on-Hamtramck with the superellipse of the Plymouth’s arches. And while you’re at it, look again at the hood: The crease vents echo that same flattened curve element. And please, don’t get me started on the Charger’s C-Pillar. Dodge appears to have ripped off the 1970 Gremlin to prop up their roof, whereas Plymouth brings that roofline right down ever-so-perfectly-balanced upon the rear wheels to remind you where the action is.
Front spoiler? Sure. Rear spoiler? No. Don’t even mess with that profile.
Also, no vinyl roof. I want to wax that thing all the way up. Hood stripes? I’ll take ‘em or leave ‘em.
So, Why would I *not* buy such a creature.... Well, beyond the maintenance nightmare of a mechanical distributor, six barrels worth of carburetor adjustments, and these things called “tune-ups,” I have a hard enough time keeping my current beigemobiles clean from happy-meal-grease-fingers, not to mention avoiding rocks in my paint and glass. I also grind my teeth too much about having to put $40 in my tank once every two weeks to even begin to consider performing that ritual twice a week.